Did he start to ignore my SMS or Whatsapp MSG?

Taking train and feeling moody again. Not because of knocking off from work late. It's because of him, because he don't bother to reply my SMS and Whatsapp MSG already. I think I made a mess of it by getting mad with him. It's a irreversible act. I regretted, really, very much. What can I do to make up for it? Or is there actually anything I can do to make up for it? No, I guess this is the straight forward answer.

It's worse than before, worse than the time when it's a one-sided from me. I really don't understand. If he really like me, why is he not showering me with more care and concern? He said he was waiting and after we got together, this is how he treat me? I really don't understand. I really wish to talk to him straight and direct on this. I don't like to think which might not be what he is thinking. But I also don't want to give him pressure. What should I do? I really don't know... I am lost...

The more I give thoughts to this, the more I think we jump into a relationship before we even know if we are suitable to each other. How I wish we were back to the time when we were at Ben and Jerry. I would suggest we get to know each other this time.

Maybe we should give it a second thought

It's been a month plus since we got together. Maybe I am those living in fairy tales, I always thought being in relationship is sweet, especially in the beginning. You can say I am an attention seeker. I don't like the feeling of being neglected, especially by someone I like. Maybe because you don't reply SMS often, each of your reply makes me happy. The opposite when I didn't get any response from you. This question always pop up when I felt neglected: Did we jump into a relationship before we know each other more to think that we are suitable for each other? I know you are busy with work and didn't want to go out after work. I can understand and I am okay with that. All I need is just some care and concern, in any form. Whatever you say or do, big or small, makes me happy. I always try to find answers why you didn't reply SMS or contact me. The more I try to find answers, the more they become excuses, and the more I think you don't care about me. I don't want to think this way but I just can't help it. I cannot understand how little interaction you have with your mobile. I maybe blunt but it's all from the bottom of my heart. If you think this is too much for you, maybe it's good that we give this relationship a second thought.

Very reluctantly, I made it came to an end...

Our last dinner together was 1 Jun, Fri. I thought it was going to move towards a positive direction but I was so damn wrong. He did no action to move forward and I refused to initiate to ask him out. For the past 4 weekends, I kept telling myself, don't be the one to ask him out, let him ask me instead. But what I hoped for never happen. I am very sad. I cried countless time because of this. I thought he would be the one but it seems that I am so damn wrong and disappointed and sad and down. I want to end this. So the last thing I did was to Whatsapp him with the following: Alot of things I want to say... Bear with me for awhile okie 😊 Thank you for the things you have done, esp fetching me to and fro airport. Tts 1 of the sweetest thing and I m really touched. I tot u will ask me out to get to know each other more. Treat u differently in office cos I duno how u tink n I m not comfortable when pple talks. I m sad when nothing happen in the past 1 mth or so. Maybe it's just me 1 sided. Duno when u will read this but it's okay. I just want to let u know how I think. I will b pro in office 😊 I wrote that after walking for about 2km in the middle of the night, tearing often along the way. Finally, I settled down at my void deck. He read it an hour after I sent him but there was no reply from him. I guess I am nothing but a colleague to him. I will live by this phrase: 做不到的事，不要随便讲。I will try my very best to be pro at work as we work in the same office. Now I need the courage to face him in office. I CAN DO IT!! Althought I m still very sad and will still cry over this sometimes. How silly. I need someone to make me forget him. Will this person ever appear?