I do not understand how come small thing also cannot help... How come need to make a fuss out of small things... If cannot help, just tell me. I can accept. WTF?! Do you need to announce to the whole division and let everyone know?
What happen everyday really disheartened me in working in this company... How come people cannot just work with one another? If not within your means to help, voice out. How do you know I am not reasonable enough to find other people to help or do it myself even. Do you know what impact your action can cause to the other person? You only bother about yourself, and care less for others even if other die. I know this is the true fact but can't you do it in a more gentle manner. I believe there is many ways of conveying the same message to others. The choice of words, tone and timing will change all these can make it more gentle.
I also believe people remember bad/unhappy/negative things better than happy/positive things. I am one of them. Be sure that I will remember this. Do not let me find anything bad about you. Once I do, you will regret, for sure...
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
WTF? Can't they synchronise?
I seriously do not want to make this blog a mean to vent my anger but it seems like nothing happy has happen to my life since don't know when...
It is so annoying to arrange for meeting when people are not co-operative and clear on their boss' schedule. The story goes...
Suppose to arrange for a meeting to discuss on project. TFO, who just took over from MG, is our new client. He has 2 PA, SSS and LYF. Yes he is a big shot to have 2 PAs. So I called LYF to ask for TFO's schedule, which is known as schedule A. So finally, I emailed out, propose to meet on Date A, according to schedule A. BUT SSS replied the email to say that TFO's schedule should be schedule B. So got to change to Date B again. WFT? How come they can have different interpretation of the same schedule? TFO only has 1 schedule!!!!
After arranging to Date B yesterday, back in office today and I got a "surprise" when I checked my email. TFO actually suggested to meet on Date A, to get things rolling asap. How come they cannot synchronise themselve? They work in the same company and how come they do not share the same view?! This has become an email fight... I shall wait and see what more do I get from this email thread. As of now, no reply, maybe until the end of the day.
I know it is a small thing. But how come a small thing can turn into a complicated and conflicting issue?
It is so annoying to arrange for meeting when people are not co-operative and clear on their boss' schedule. The story goes...
Suppose to arrange for a meeting to discuss on project. TFO, who just took over from MG, is our new client. He has 2 PA, SSS and LYF. Yes he is a big shot to have 2 PAs. So I called LYF to ask for TFO's schedule, which is known as schedule A. So finally, I emailed out, propose to meet on Date A, according to schedule A. BUT SSS replied the email to say that TFO's schedule should be schedule B. So got to change to Date B again. WFT? How come they can have different interpretation of the same schedule? TFO only has 1 schedule!!!!
After arranging to Date B yesterday, back in office today and I got a "surprise" when I checked my email. TFO actually suggested to meet on Date A, to get things rolling asap. How come they cannot synchronise themselve? They work in the same company and how come they do not share the same view?! This has become an email fight... I shall wait and see what more do I get from this email thread. As of now, no reply, maybe until the end of the day.
I know it is a small thing. But how come a small thing can turn into a complicated and conflicting issue?
Friday, July 8, 2011
Slack but not so pleasant day...
My frustration seems to calm down. After a 1.5 day course, I felt more refresh and calmed. What's good about today is It Is A Slack Day. My team got an outing to a small island. A nice colleague picked me and another colleague up at a nearby train station and head to the jetty. The day is hot and humid, a typical day in my country.
The journey on the ferry is about 10-15min and ta-da here we are on the small and layback island. Our destination is a wetland on the eastern side of the island. Some of us took the comfortable way to reach the destination: renting a mini bus. The rest took the harder way: renting a bicycle which I did.
The cycling route to the wetland is not an easy one. Up and down we went. With the condition of rented bicycle, the route is harder for me. The gears do not seems to be working properly. I was so tired when we finally reached the destination after 20-30min.
The wetland is small with lots of inhabitants and trees. We spent some time there discovering the nature and taking photos. The wetland branched into the open sea and the view is nice. Many of us took photos while admiring the nature.
Its another 20-30min ride back to the jetty. There are restaurant where we had our lunch. The food is not bad and the portion is quite reasonable. We had a quick lung before we head back to the mainland jetty and to our boss' house.
I never imagine my boss to stay in a 3 storey private property. The surrounding enviroent is nice and quiet but yet it's near to a bus stop. He showed us around in his house, after which he brought us to the dining area where he had prepared snacks for us. There is even chocolate fondue to go with fruits.
We spent some time exploring his house, talking and eating before we left his house. Our user invited us ti a ceremony to witness the change in their company so some of us went home to wash up and attend the ceremony.
I thought I would be able to drive to the venue but my parents need to drive my nephew home. Why can't my sis-in-law take a cab to fetch my nephew home? Oh well so I asked my dad to drive me to the venue. But in a hurry, I forgot to bring keys. So I ended up waiting for my parents to come home.
The ceremony was quite simple but yet formal. They must have worked hard in preparing for this ceremony. After the ceremony, there were dinner (buffet and on-the-spot cooking). However, the lunch and snack at my boss' house has yet disgusted. So it is only filling up my eyes and not my stomach.
When I reached home, I called my mum to ask them when are they coming bak because I forgot to bring key. She told me she want to watch finish a drama before coming back and want me to wait for 30min. If this 30mins is because of traveling time, I am okay. But it is because she want to watch finish a drama!!! What's more, the drama can be replayed from the Internet. The time I lost cannot e replayed!!! This is something that I cannot accept and understand. But what can I do? I can only wait for them to come home. Who ask me to forgot to bring keys.
The journey on the ferry is about 10-15min and ta-da here we are on the small and layback island. Our destination is a wetland on the eastern side of the island. Some of us took the comfortable way to reach the destination: renting a mini bus. The rest took the harder way: renting a bicycle which I did.
The cycling route to the wetland is not an easy one. Up and down we went. With the condition of rented bicycle, the route is harder for me. The gears do not seems to be working properly. I was so tired when we finally reached the destination after 20-30min.
The wetland is small with lots of inhabitants and trees. We spent some time there discovering the nature and taking photos. The wetland branched into the open sea and the view is nice. Many of us took photos while admiring the nature.
Its another 20-30min ride back to the jetty. There are restaurant where we had our lunch. The food is not bad and the portion is quite reasonable. We had a quick lung before we head back to the mainland jetty and to our boss' house.
I never imagine my boss to stay in a 3 storey private property. The surrounding enviroent is nice and quiet but yet it's near to a bus stop. He showed us around in his house, after which he brought us to the dining area where he had prepared snacks for us. There is even chocolate fondue to go with fruits.
We spent some time exploring his house, talking and eating before we left his house. Our user invited us ti a ceremony to witness the change in their company so some of us went home to wash up and attend the ceremony.
I thought I would be able to drive to the venue but my parents need to drive my nephew home. Why can't my sis-in-law take a cab to fetch my nephew home? Oh well so I asked my dad to drive me to the venue. But in a hurry, I forgot to bring keys. So I ended up waiting for my parents to come home.
The ceremony was quite simple but yet formal. They must have worked hard in preparing for this ceremony. After the ceremony, there were dinner (buffet and on-the-spot cooking). However, the lunch and snack at my boss' house has yet disgusted. So it is only filling up my eyes and not my stomach.
When I reached home, I called my mum to ask them when are they coming bak because I forgot to bring key. She told me she want to watch finish a drama before coming back and want me to wait for 30min. If this 30mins is because of traveling time, I am okay. But it is because she want to watch finish a drama!!! What's more, the drama can be replayed from the Internet. The time I lost cannot e replayed!!! This is something that I cannot accept and understand. But what can I do? I can only wait for them to come home. Who ask me to forgot to bring keys.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
More calmed... Can I stay this way??
I thought I might not be able to control myself at work. I guess it's because of the boring course that prevent me from thinking of the unhappy things.
My friend wrote me a super long email. She told me that she think my boss did help me by giving me a chance to go Paris in Feb. However, that is the last happy thing that happen to me this year, at least until now. Had she forgot that people bad mouth and backstabbed me??!! I admitted that I did mistakes at my workplace but to endure backstabbing and outcast by colleagues, is this too much for the small mistakes I made?
Then, I told myself: Never mind. Just look forward to July promotion and more overseas trips to come. But how wrong and stupid I was then. I endured being outcast and let the backstabbing continued. What did I got in return? Nothing??!!
We cannot expect anything in return?! How many people can truly think this way? I m not God. I cannot make myself God, to readily forgive and forget what I had been through for the past 6 months. How many times I cried for being in the battle alone? No one in my team is with me. NONE!! To forgive and forget?! I am sorry but I cannot do it right now. I will try but I need time, lots of time...
That's for now. My train journey is almost ending... I hope the content in my blog gets happier and happier.
My friend wrote me a super long email. She told me that she think my boss did help me by giving me a chance to go Paris in Feb. However, that is the last happy thing that happen to me this year, at least until now. Had she forgot that people bad mouth and backstabbed me??!! I admitted that I did mistakes at my workplace but to endure backstabbing and outcast by colleagues, is this too much for the small mistakes I made?
Then, I told myself: Never mind. Just look forward to July promotion and more overseas trips to come. But how wrong and stupid I was then. I endured being outcast and let the backstabbing continued. What did I got in return? Nothing??!!
We cannot expect anything in return?! How many people can truly think this way? I m not God. I cannot make myself God, to readily forgive and forget what I had been through for the past 6 months. How many times I cried for being in the battle alone? No one in my team is with me. NONE!! To forgive and forget?! I am sorry but I cannot do it right now. I will try but I need time, lots of time...
That's for now. My train journey is almost ending... I hope the content in my blog gets happier and happier.
After a sleepless night...
I did not know how long it took me to fall sleep after my first and unhappy blog. Woke up this morning to found puffy eyes on a disappointed face. Took a shower to cool myself down but I m not sure if it's the water from the shower hose or my tears that clean my face.
Another session of thinking... Why do I pinned so much hope on the promotion? Is this my desire or someone induced me to have that hope? When I told my boss I wanted to join the medical company, he told me I have certain quality to make it big here and he will help me. When I told him how much the medical company offer, he told I can achieve it here in a short time and he will help me too. M I taking what he said too damn serious? Is this why I pinned high hope for this promotion? I have a choice to leave, to believe him. It is me who lead to current disappointment. If I had not believe, if I were firmed to leave. But who will know how I fare in the medical company.
My friends told me not to be discourage and look forward to something good. I asked myself: what should I look forward to? Another chance for promotion next year? A better job somewhere out there? Someone who can comfort me when I am so damn down? I really do noy know what can I look forward to. Felt great depression and want to escape from work... But here I m, taking train to my workplace to attend a course... How I with I can be at beach now to cry myself out and get over this stupid promotion issue NOW!!
Another session of thinking... Why do I pinned so much hope on the promotion? Is this my desire or someone induced me to have that hope? When I told my boss I wanted to join the medical company, he told me I have certain quality to make it big here and he will help me. When I told him how much the medical company offer, he told I can achieve it here in a short time and he will help me too. M I taking what he said too damn serious? Is this why I pinned high hope for this promotion? I have a choice to leave, to believe him. It is me who lead to current disappointment. If I had not believe, if I were firmed to leave. But who will know how I fare in the medical company.
My friends told me not to be discourage and look forward to something good. I asked myself: what should I look forward to? Another chance for promotion next year? A better job somewhere out there? Someone who can comfort me when I am so damn down? I really do noy know what can I look forward to. Felt great depression and want to escape from work... But here I m, taking train to my workplace to attend a course... How I with I can be at beach now to cry myself out and get over this stupid promotion issue NOW!!
My first blog and an unhappy one
12 midnight and here I am writing my first blog and an unhappy one. I m a very average person who just want to achieve the average thing in life. This has really give me a big hit in my life that makes me wondering why I m who I m and where I am now.
Since graduated, I work hard, wanting to achieve or reap what I sow but it seems like I can't achieve that in my first company. Left my beloved colleagues and I head to the second, hoping for a better career ahead. However, it is not what I expected.
After working for a year in my second company, I was headhunted to work in a setup biomedical company as a project manager, something I have been always wanted. In Feb, I told my boss my intention to quit and join this biomedical company but he pursued me to stay, saying that he has high hope on me and think I will make it big in the second company. Am I naive or what? I actually gave up what I always wanted and stay in the second company and worked as a project engineer. I told my boss I wanted something more, in terms of monetary. He said he will try to do something. In this company, the only way to have that is to have promotion. I pinned high hope for a promotion in July.
So here in July, and the news is here. What did I get? A pathetic 6% increment and no promotion. The reason for me not getting a promotion is because I m less than 2 years in this company. The thing that makes me feel worse is a fresh grad who worked here for 2 years actually got a promotion. What is my 5 years working experience compared to a fresh grad's 2 years?
This may be trivial others but it is damn important to me. I wanted this promotion so badly. I told my boss I m disappointed. He told me that I will make it eventually. So how long is eventually? He said 1-2 years. But what if I waited for 1-2 years and I m still here? Who is sure that 1-2 years I will speed up n be at the level as my peers? Am I asking too much to b at the same level as my peers?
I m damn disappointed with it. I m so sad that I cried and cried and cried. Funny to cry over such trivial matter? NO!!! It is affecting me so much that I started writing this blog to vent my anger n frustration. I have no one to turn to. I do not want my family members to worry about me and I cannot tell my colleagues about it as they will gossip about this. I am alway putting up this strong side to others but who knows that I am actually weak and a crybaby.
My ultimate question for this log is: M I asking too much to be the same level as my peers?
Since graduated, I work hard, wanting to achieve or reap what I sow but it seems like I can't achieve that in my first company. Left my beloved colleagues and I head to the second, hoping for a better career ahead. However, it is not what I expected.
After working for a year in my second company, I was headhunted to work in a setup biomedical company as a project manager, something I have been always wanted. In Feb, I told my boss my intention to quit and join this biomedical company but he pursued me to stay, saying that he has high hope on me and think I will make it big in the second company. Am I naive or what? I actually gave up what I always wanted and stay in the second company and worked as a project engineer. I told my boss I wanted something more, in terms of monetary. He said he will try to do something. In this company, the only way to have that is to have promotion. I pinned high hope for a promotion in July.
So here in July, and the news is here. What did I get? A pathetic 6% increment and no promotion. The reason for me not getting a promotion is because I m less than 2 years in this company. The thing that makes me feel worse is a fresh grad who worked here for 2 years actually got a promotion. What is my 5 years working experience compared to a fresh grad's 2 years?
This may be trivial others but it is damn important to me. I wanted this promotion so badly. I told my boss I m disappointed. He told me that I will make it eventually. So how long is eventually? He said 1-2 years. But what if I waited for 1-2 years and I m still here? Who is sure that 1-2 years I will speed up n be at the level as my peers? Am I asking too much to b at the same level as my peers?
I m damn disappointed with it. I m so sad that I cried and cried and cried. Funny to cry over such trivial matter? NO!!! It is affecting me so much that I started writing this blog to vent my anger n frustration. I have no one to turn to. I do not want my family members to worry about me and I cannot tell my colleagues about it as they will gossip about this. I am alway putting up this strong side to others but who knows that I am actually weak and a crybaby.
My ultimate question for this log is: M I asking too much to be the same level as my peers?
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