My first blog and an unhappy one

12 midnight and here I am writing my first blog and an unhappy one. I m a very average person who just want to achieve the average thing in life. This has really give me a big hit in my life that makes me wondering why I m who I m and where I am now.

Since graduated, I work hard, wanting to achieve or reap what I sow but it seems like I can't achieve that in my first company. Left my beloved colleagues and I head to the second, hoping for a better career ahead. However, it is not what I expected.

After working for a year in my second company, I was headhunted to work in a setup biomedical company as a project manager, something I have been always wanted. In Feb, I told my boss my intention to quit and join this biomedical company but he pursued me to stay, saying that he has high hope on me and think I will make it big in the second company. Am I naive or what? I actually gave up what I always wanted and stay in the second company and worked as a project engineer. I told my boss I wanted something more, in terms of monetary. He said he will try to do something. In this company, the only way to have that is to have promotion. I pinned high hope for a promotion in July.

So here in July, and the news is here. What did I get? A pathetic 6% increment and no promotion. The reason for me not getting a promotion is because I m less than 2 years in this company. The thing that makes me feel worse is a fresh grad who worked here for 2 years actually got a promotion. What is my 5 years working experience compared to a fresh grad's 2 years?

This may be trivial others but it is damn important to me. I wanted this promotion so badly. I told my boss I m disappointed. He told me that I will make it eventually. So how long is eventually? He said 1-2 years. But what if I waited for 1-2 years and I m still here? Who is sure that 1-2 years I will speed up n be at the level as my peers? Am I asking too much to b at the same level as my peers?

I m damn disappointed with it. I m so sad that I cried and cried and cried. Funny to cry over such trivial matter? NO!!! It is affecting me so much that I started writing this blog to vent my anger n frustration. I have no one to turn to. I do not want my family members to worry about me and I cannot tell my colleagues about it as they will gossip about this. I am alway putting up this strong side to others but who knows that I am actually weak and a crybaby.

My ultimate question for this log is: M I asking too much to be the same level as my peers?